I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
