you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
