i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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