My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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