Small penises have feelings too.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
