mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
