Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
