if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
