I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize