do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
