called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
