she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
