He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
40s are totally the cure
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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