I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize