when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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