I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He? As in you personified your dick?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
