Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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