You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
