Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
