hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
