If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The adults are the big ones right?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
