how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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