I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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