I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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