just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
