i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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