His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
