Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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