You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
