Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
