Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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