wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize