if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just googled if crying burns calories
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
