Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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