and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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