I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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