I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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