OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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