today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
