Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
