Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
