Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
