I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
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