There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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