Whatcha textin bout Willis?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Are we still banned from the library?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
