you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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