Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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