my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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