it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
