quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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