She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
