Your tits are I can't wait for
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
