you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
