Having a random hookup so left but love u
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
