What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
