Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
