The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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