I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
