I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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