can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so let's talk penis.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I need a beard to bite.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize