guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
