I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
porn star boner night. come get it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
