Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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