I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
