worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
