She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
