I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
