you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
