Is it normal to miss your booty call?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
