Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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