My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
