ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
