Jerry, you need to find god
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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