i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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