Barsexuality is the new black.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
