ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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